It’s depressing to be three weeks into the NFL season and already feeling that your team sucks, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s the NFL, EVERY team has a chance…….RIGHT ? Unfortunately hope & reality are two different things.

So allow me to cheer you up for the rest of the NFL season. This week will be the start of my weekly column, “Who wants to get Lucky”. Each week, I’ll determine how the top 5 (or bottom 5, whichever you prefer) teams are faring in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes…….. I mean the #1 pick in the 2012 NFL Draft.

The “Lucky” Scale:
No shower, no shave, no problem: Don’t have to try, you’re getting Lucky.
Dressed for success: If you’re on top of your game, you should be able to get Lucky.
Faux-hawk: If she can get past the ridiculous haircut, 50/50 shot to get Lucky.
Funny guy : At first glance, no chance, but you could talk your way into getting Lucky.
Big spender: No looks & no personality? $ is your only shot to get Lucky.

Indianapolis Colts – We all know how great Peyton Manning is, but I can’t think of a player in a team sport like football having that much potential effect on a W-L record. Even the Patriots went 11-5 without Tom Brady.

The offense is ranked 27th in passing, 21st in rushing (no big surprise there), & 28th in PPG. Forget the stats a minute, watch a Colts game. There is no flow to the offense whatsoever. Their offense still has weapons in Dallas Clark, Reggie Wayne, & Austin Collie, but obviously, Kerry Collins and Curtis Painter are no Peyton Manning.

The defense is ranked 18th in total defense, 18th in passing defense, & 22nd in rushing defense. These are usually the numbers a Colts defense puts up, but with no Peyton Manning winning shootouts and the fact that they play in a competitive AFC South, those defensive numbers are not good enough. This team will be in the running to get Lucky all year.
Rating: No shower, no shave, no problem

Kansas City Chiefs – On purely the eye test, this team is the worst team in the NFL. It doesn’t help that three of the team’s stars are on IR (Jamal Charles, Eric Berry, Moeaki).

The offense is averaging 9 points per game. In a year where offensive records for scoring & passing yards are being surpassed weekly, that scoring average is pathetic. Will the real Matt Cassell please stand up? He has the weapons in Baldwin & Bowe, but he’s not getting it done. He has a 65.5 quarterback rating with 3 TD’s & 5 INT’s.

Even if the Chiefs don’t end up getting Luck-y, they still could take a QB with their first pick in the 2012 Draft. That’s how bad Cassell has been. The only reason I don’t have them ahead of the Colts right now is because I’m not convinced, yet, that this team can’t turn it around.
Rating: Dressed for success

Seattle Seahawks – No one but Pete Carroll had any clue what the Seahawks were doing when they got rid of Matthew Hasselback, signed Tarvaris Jackson, and didn’t draft a QB in the 2011 draft.

The offense is ranked 31st in the NFL. Jackson has a 73.7 QB Rating through 3 games. The Seahawks leading rusher Marshawn Lynch has 117 yards……through 3 games (39 ypg). Sidney Rice came back last week & had a 100 yard game, and immediately is ranked 2nd on the team in receiving yards. This offense is putrid, and that might be an understatement. It’s a good thing their defense has kept them in games (defense ranks 10th in the NFL).

The fact that they play in the terrible NFC West could keep them from getting Luck-y, because they might steal a win or two, as evidenced by last week’s win against the Cardinals. This team has the least amount of talent of any team. Rating: Faux-hawk
Denver Broncos – Another team with offensive woes trying to get Lucky (notice a theme yet). The season started with a QB controversy between Orton & Tebow, although anyone with two eyes knew there was no controversy. Not to mention there were rumors that Orton would be traded to the Dolphins. Rough way for John Fox to start his coaching tenure in Denver.

The offense is ranked 27th in ypg, 22nd in passing offense, & 28th in rushing offense. Knowshon Moreno has been a bust. Remember former first round pick Demaryius Thomas? Yeah, I don’t either. He hasn’t played in a game this year and only had 22 catches in 10 games last year. Eric Decker is starting to emerge, but he’s a future slot receive at best. Brandon Lloyd has put up decent numbers, but he’s best suited as a #2 WR. Orton is solid, though his numbers don’t show it this year with a 79.3 quarterback passer rating. To be fair, as you can see, he has no weapons.

Orton might be able to win a few games in shootouts against bad teams, but with Orton being in the last year of his deal, if the Broncos get Luck-y, they won’t hesitate to take advantage of the situation.                                      

Rating: Funny Guy

Miami Dolphins – Openly flirt with a college coach only to rehire your own guy? Check. Try to trade for another quarterback before the season starts only to see the trade fall through? Check. What a way to start your season, huh Dolphins fans?

Chad Henne went arm-to-arm (yes, I have bad jokes) with Tom Brady in the Monday Night opener. He made some poor throws, but anytime you put up 400+ yards on a Belichick defense, that’s saying something. Henne has the weapons to throw to in Hartline, Marshall, & Bess, so shootouts aren’t out of the question. Reggie Bush is a glorified David Megget. Their running game will now rely on rookie RB Daniel Thomas from Kansas State..

Where is the Dolphins defense that was ranked 7th in total defense last year? The defense currently ranks 30th in total yards, & 29th in sacks (4 through 3 games). So far, it looks like the defense will lose this team games, not the offense.

Unless the Dolphins go on a run, this will be the last year for Tony Sparano. The new coach will want to start fresh at quarterback and get rid of Henne. Unless the defense starts playing a lot better, the Dolphins have a shot at getting Lucky.                                                                                                                    

Rating: Big Spender

Teams trying to get Lucky, but who have work to do:
San Francisco 49ers
Cincinnati Bengals
Jacksonville Jaguars

Thoughts? Hate me because you think your team is better than I do? Leave me a comment and tell me what you think.