At the beginning of the year, if you were to tell me that the 49ers would be 4-1 and a certain Super Bowl contender would be trying to get Lucky 5 weeks into the season, I would have taken you to the nearest psych ward. So let’s see who has been upping their game recently in order to get Lucky.

The “Lucky” Scale:
No shower, no shave, no problem: Don’t have to try, you’re getting Lucky.
Dressed for success: If you’re on top of your game, you should be able to get Lucky.
Faux-hawk: If she can get past the ridiculous haircut, 50/50 shot to get Lucky.
Funny guy : At first glance, no chance, but you could talk your way into getting Lucky.
Big spender: No looks & no personality? $ is your only shot to get Lucky.

Indianapolis Colts – In the first half against the Chiefs, the Colts actually started to look like a decent team by going up 17-0 in the second quarter. Then Painter and the defense fell back to Earth, and they ended up losing to the Chiefs 28-24. Positive (or negative, depending on how you look at it) signs is that Garcon had his first huge game of the year with 2 touchdown catches and Painter had a solid game going 15-27 277 yards 2 TD’s. The Colts should be significant underdogs in their next three games, so there’s no reason to think they won’t be at the top of the list for getting Lucky.

Rating: No shower, no shave, no problem
Last Week’s Rating: No shower, no shave, no problem
Next 3 games: @ Cincinnati, @ New Orleans, @Tennessee

Miami Dolphins – Is this team making all the right moves or what? Talk about using the bye week to step your game up a notch. Chad Henne was already on a short leash as it is, but now because of a shoulder injury, he is out for the year. In comes Matt Moore. Who? Wait, THAT Matt Moore!? That one that was so bad in Carolina last year that he was benched for Jimmy Clausen? Yes Dolphins fans, Matt Moore is the chiseled upper body that will send the team’s chances of getting Lucky to the Promised Land.
Week 4 Rating: Dressed for Success
Rating Last Week:Unrated
Next 3 games: @ New York Jets, Denver, @ New York Giants

Denver Broncos – “People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.” “Tim Tebow gets called for roughing the tackler.” It’s Tebow time! Let the media slobbering………BE-GIN! Nobody knows if Tebow is going to be a good NFL quarterback or not. He did provide a noticeable spark to the offense once he entered the game in the 2nd half against the Chargers last week. Going forward, whether they like him or not, John Fox & John Elway had no choice but to start Tebow the rest of the season. At the very least, it will energize a passionate fan base who has become frustrated with the team’s direction the past 3 years. Also, it will help the front office determine whether he is their long-term answer at quarterback. How Tebow plays will be the determining factor of whether the Broncos get Lucky or not.                                                                  

Rating: Faux-hawk
Rating Last Week: Faux-hawk
Next 3 Games: Bye, @ Miami, Detroit

St. Louis Rams – Everyone, including myself, thought the Rams would run away with the pathetic NFC West this year. Nobody saw Sam Bradford regressing. Nobody saw the 49ers being 4-1 at this point. As the Chiefs finally start to resemble the team that won the AFC West last year, by default, the Rams chances of getting Lucky has gotten better. Hopefully the bye week helped them because as each week goes by, their chance of a division crown goes by the wayside as they sharpen those pickup lines.

Rating: Funny Guy
Rating Last Week: Big Spender
Next 3 games: @ Green Bay, @ Dallas, New Orleans

Philadephia Eagles – (Disclaimer: I hate the Eagles, so these will be the most enjoyable paragraphs I write all year) Ah-heh-hem……..Wait a second, the “Dream Team” is 1-4!? They signed 6 former Pro Bowlers. Their corners are so good that former Pro Bowl corner Dominque Rodgers-Cromartie is a nickel back! They have 1 of the most electric players in the NFL Desean Jackson, who averaged 22.5 yards per catch last year. The Eagles just resigned Michael Vick to a 6 year, $100 million contact. How is that possible!?

Apparently money can’t buy you brotherly love (that’s 2 bad jokes this year by the way). The chemistry on this team, especially on the offensive line and in their back 7 (linebackers & defensive backs) on defense has been questionable. Vick has been getting hit a ton. He has taken 29 QB hits this year, tied for 5th worst in the NFL. You can look at this stat two ways. Is it all the offensive line? Probably not. Vick is known for holding the ball longer than he should. On the other hand, if Vick weren’t so elusive, that number could easily be higher.

The strength of this defense going into the season was supposed to be their secondary and their defensive line. The defensive line has held up their end of the bargain by registering 16 sacks, tied for 2nd most in the league. The secondary on the other hand hasn’t held up theirs. The Eagles have given up 11 touchdown passes through the air, 2nd most in the league to the Chiefs. Of their linebackers, they’ve already shaken things up after four weeks. Casey Matthews was benched for undersized Brian Rolle at outside linebacker.

Do I think the Eagles are this bad? No. They have too much talent at too many key positions. If they don’t turn this season around soon though, this geek with the pocket protector and acne at the beginning of the year could be getting Lucky by the end of it.

Rating:Big Spender
Rating Last Week:Unrated
Next 3 games: @ Washington, Dallas, Chicago

Teams trying to get Lucky, but have some work to do:

Jacksonville Jaguars
Carolina Panthers
Minnesota Vikings